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When I go to a restaurant, I appetite a accomplished vibe. I appetite to apprehension the flatware. I appetite absorbing ice cubes. I appetite the abandon to — well, I appetite the abandon to abide and at no added cost. (PSA to all taco establishments: Lettuce and acerb chrism are garnishes, not sides.)

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But best of all, I appetite to adore the bathroom. Which isn’t adamantine because I adulation a acceptable bathroom. I like to anticipate of myself as self-reflective, but sometimes I’m aloof addition one of the blowhard masses on the internet, demography my buzz into restaurant bathrooms, bridge my fingers for acceptable lighting and air-conditioned wallpaper.

In 2019, I absitively to certificate myself in as abounding bathrooms as possible. Which is to say: I took a lot of bath selfies. I visited aggregate from a men’s bath with a abstruse appearance of Fenway Park to adjacency abstract in Somerville.

Here’s what I found.

Two affiliated guy accompany were visiting, and I asked if they would allow me in a adventure to Bleacher’s men’s room. Why? Because back you angle at the urinal, you can see into Fenway Park.

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We got a table. Anthony scouted out the bathroom, Peter kept me aggregation at our strategically called table. I got the all ablaze and snap! Theresa at the urinals with a smile.

A man absolved in on our giggles and high-fives. He smiled, “It’s cool, I ain’t judgin’!”

I absolutely capital to like this bathroom. I’d apparent pictures of the brazier sinks, the alms tile, the collage floor. But back I got there, I begin two burnt-out lightbulbs authoritative for an clumsily arid selfie, and a attic that was evocative of a rub-on tattoo. Cue the sad trombones and snap! Can you alike see me in this darkness?

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That boozy Fruity Pebbles brunch shake, though? Worth it.

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In 2018, I accomplished that I’m “not straight.” I alternate to affirmation anomalous or alike bi — out of account for communities who accept fought to cautiously be themselves, while I’m over actuality like, “I kissed a babe and I admired it.” But I am not straight. So, if I charge to accept a label, that’s it. My accompany encouraged me to appear out, but not absolutely alive what to say, I kept award myself adage nothing.

When I visited the bath at Trina’s during Pride, their mirror was like a acceptable home sign. “Happy Pride,” it read, a ablaze blush aperture and a bold slipped argot abrasion the bend of the top lip. I stood in my admired best dress, slipped my argot beyond my lips, and snap! Happy Pride from Theresa at Trina’s.

Almost four months after I assuredly came out — by way of my Bitmoji avatar sliding bottomward a bubble on a pink-filtered Instagram pic on National Coming Out Day, of course.

It was the affectionate of hot summer night that I adopt to absorb in bed, air conditioner blasting, Hulu binging, and no limbs touching. Instead, I went to a friend’s appearance at The Armory, met up with a accumulation of amazing women, and we approved our luck for an after-dinner table at Highland Kitchen. A accident evening: The bend berth was open, we agreed on appetizers to share, and back I got into their bathroom, I accomplished my dejected dress altogether akin the cream-colored asphalt and brushed achievement walls. Highland’s bath is neither busy nor appearance stopping, but the lighting was aloof appropriate and there are bifold mirrors in frames that are silver, sculptural, and agilely elegant.

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And aloof like that, snap! My admired restaurant bath selfie of 2019.

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I’m not one for New Year’s resolutions, but I absolutely intend to arena in a new decade with a growing accumulating of Boston’s Best Restaurant Bathrooms for Selfies. Let’s accomplish it a hashtag.

Theresa Okokon is a amusing worker, yoga teacher, storyteller, writer, and Wisconsinite active in Boston. You can acquisition her on Instagram at @ohh.jeezzz.

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