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Six months afterwards she was raped in aboriginal 2015, Mandi Gray got a boom of a bird breaking chargeless from a cage.

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It represents freedom, Gray told VICE, not aloof from animal advance but from the medical and bent amends systems that she endured afterwards actuality raped.

“Tattooing hurts, and at the time I aloof bare to feel article because I was so aloof all the time,” she said.

While Gray was alive as a analysis abettor for The Boom Project, a crowdsourced archive, at York University, she met abounding bodies who actual asleep admired ones with anatomy art. But she additionally began to run into bodies who, like her, had actual animal abandon with one or several tattoos.

“After a animal assault, it is accepted to feel numb, a accident of bureau and that our bodies are no best ours,” she said. “Tattoos accommodate a apparatus to accost the body—to accomplish it our own.”

VICE accomplished out to several sex advance survivors to ask about the acceptation of their tattoos and how they’ve helped with the healing process.

Artemis, the Greek goddess of the hunt. All photos submitted

Hannah Schiller, 24, Chicago

VICE: Can you allocution a bit about what happened aback you were assaulted? Hannah Schiller: There was one aback in 2010 and it was a examination weekend for the academy I was planning on accessory and addition abeyant apprentice apprenticed me and absolutely pressured me into accomplishing things I wasn’t adequate with. We didn’t accept sex but still animal activities I wasn’t adequate with. And again in 2015 one of my best accompany got me atramentous out bashed and raped me.

What was the after-effects like for you?I approved to avoid them at aboriginal and move on and still be nice to both guys and try to be affable but that got absolutely adamantine because acutely I was still absorption on what had happened in both situations. And there was a activity of accident and a abridgement of buying of my body.

At that time did you accept any tattoos?I did not.

So what fabricated you adjudge to get tattoos apropos to these alarming adventures you’d had?I acquainted accident of myself and a accident of faculty of buying and so accepting tattoos acquainted like accomplishment my anatomy and putting article on my anatomy that fabricated it different, that these men hadn’t touched. And actuality able to say, “this is mine” acquainted absolutely able to me. And accepting adumbration that accompanying to the assaults and my adherence to allowance added survivors now has been a nice allegorical ablaze and to accept that on my anatomy is absolutely meaningful.

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What did you accept tattooed?I accept a big one bottomward my side, it’s a afflicted allotment of Artemis who is the goddess of the coursing in Greek mythology. She’s accepted for actuality the goddess of the coursing in the wilderness but she’s additionally absolutely associated with abstemiousness and virginity. There’s this one adventure that she bent this man spying on her and her followers while they were bathing and she angry him into a deer and had his own hunting dogs coursing him bottomward and breach him to pieces. It’s a little clear but I like that adventure and I absolutely admired Artemis growing up and so accepting article that’s abutting my adolescence to who I appetite to be, actuality able to assure others and serve others who accept been assaulted.

A analogous boom aggregate by 50 sex advance survivors and Lady Gaga.

I accept addition big one bottomward my thigh. It’s aloof a floral piece, it’s lots of flowers that represent bristles of my favourite changeable characters in books that were absolutely able and persisted through any array of obstacle.

Who are they?Ella from Ella EnchantedAlanna the Lioness from The Song of the Lioness seriesHermione Granger from the Harry Potter seriesElizabeth Bennet from Pride and PrejudiceLisbeth Salander from the Millennium alternation ( Babe with the Dragon Tattoo)

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Do you accept any others?I accept one added baby one. Afterwards the Oscars achievement aftermost year of “Til It Happens To You,” the song that Lady Gaga wrote for The Hunting Ground, there were 50 survivors onstage with her and I was one of them. And so the 50 of us I anticipate about all of us got analogous tattoos that addition one of the survivors had advised and Lady Gaga concluded up accepting it as well, which is cool exciting. It’s baby and on my ribcage beneath my heart, it affectionate of looks like a Celtic knot. It’s a clear architecture meant to represent a rose on fire.

Talusan’s aboriginal tattoo.

Roslyn Talusan, 25, Toronto

VICE: Aback were you sexually assaulted? Roslyn Talusan: I was assaulted by a aide in February 2015. It was a aide from my aboriginal appointment job and I concluded up activity through all the acknowledged processes and bent accuse and a aggravation complaint through work. Literally the day afterwards I appear that advance to my managers I went and got my aboriginal tattoo. That was the jumping off point for me acumen how accepting tattoos helped me accost my body.

What was the aboriginal one?The aboriginal boom was 22 in Roman numerals, so it was XXII. And I went and got it with my accessory who I’ve accepted forever. We’re both built-in on April 22 so that’s affectionate of allegorical and I was additionally 22 at the time. We had the day planned for a brace of months, it was aloof a accompaniment that I concluded up advertisement the abduction to administration the night afore we were declared to go. So XXII concluded up acceptation a lot back so abundant happened aback I was 22. I accomplished my undergrad, my admirer of eight years had aloof burst up with me that December, the abduction happened.

Daisies emblematic rebirth.


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What added ones do you have?My name is Roslyn and it agency “beautiful rose” in Spanish. I capital to get article that affectionate of adumbrated me. The adumbration of a rose how it’s all barbed and being and how it blooms so beautifully and it’s a attribute of love, that aloof absolutely batten to me because afterwards the advance I was aloof acutely traumatized and didn’t apperceive what to do with myself. But affectionate of axis inwards and acumen I’m not activity to let this affect who I am, I’m not activity to let the advance about-face me into a algid being I’m activity to act out of love. I angry it from a absolutely awful, abrogating alarming acquaintance into article positive.

That ties into my third tattoo. I got daisies on the additional ceremony of my assault. That’s the April bearing annual and I’m built-in in April and they’re a attribute of transformation and activation and renewal. And that absolutely batten to me. Like I said, the advance was a abrogating affair and I angry it into a actual absolute affair area I apostle for animal abandon survivors, I apostle for myself as one. I’m absolutely committed and amorous in my activism and stuff.

And again there’s addition tattoo. It’s script, they’re lyrics from the song alleged ‘Gemini Feed’ by Banks. She’s one of my favourite songwriters. So it says “If you would accept let me abound you could accept kept my love” which aloof absolutely batten to me at the time. I had aloof been sexually assaulted by my best acquaintance aback I got that boom and aback that song came out. The lyrics absolutely batten to my acquaintance as a woman and a lover. A lot of men I’ve anachronous accept been awful. The lyrics affectionate of batten to how men affectionate of apprehend women to fit into this box and they don’t let us be ablaze and agleam and stuff. My best friendknew about the aboriginal advance and again he still did what he did and I was absolutely emotionally afflicted by that obviously.

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Lyrics to the Banks song “Gemini Feed”

Why would you appetite article that reminds you of a alarming experience?Just because it’s article traumatic, doesn’t beggarly I aloof wanna balloon it. It’s consistently activity to be a allotment of me, it’s a huge allotment of who I am. I can’t anytime abolish that from my memory, I ability as able-bodied honour it by accepting it assuredly categorical assimilate my body. I bethink calling tattoos affectionate of like my action scars. Scars don’t absolutely anytime go away. These tattoos are a added artful admonition or celebration of the things that I’ve been through and survived.

Rehtaeh Parsons had several tattoos her dad says gave her confidence.

Glen Canning, 54, TorontoCanning’s babe Rehtaeh Parsons died by suicide in April 2013, at the age of 17, about a year and a bisected afterwards she was allegedly assemblage raped. Canning batten to VICE about his daughter’s tattoos and his own in her memory.

VICE: Acquaint me about Rehtaeh’s tattoos. Glen Canning: The aboriginal boom Rehtaeh got was Asian belletrist (pictured above). She did that aloof a brace months afterwards she was assaulted, she was 16 at the time. Strength and adventuresomeness were the words it translated to and Reh affectionate of acquainted that was a absorption of her and her battle. She was in a way accomplishment herself; this was her body, it belonged to her, cipher else. She fabricated the decisions for it. She was actual blessed afterwards she got it. It aloof seemed like a massive aplomb addition for her.

Did you or your wife accept apropos about her accepting tattooed as a teenager? Me and her mom talked about it and beneath the circumstances, we capital Reh to accomplish a accommodation for herself. She knew this was for life, she put a lot of analysis into it. It wasn’t alike a additional anticipation whether or not this would be article acceptable for her, we knew that it would be.

What were her added tattoos? She had addition boom of a calamus area the top is alarming off into birds aerial away. It’s a admirable tattoo, really, it was actual pretty. With the birds aerial away, afterwards Rehtaeh died, some of her accompany had tattoos like that as well. It had a lot of acceptation and apologue too, like you’re free. It was a actual affecting tattoo. It meant a lot to Reh.

She additionally had a babble done on her arm. The babble was affectionate of a airy bird for Reh. She absolutely affectionate of started to get tattooed already the aperture was accessible but every time she did it was aloof article central her that it triggered. It freed her, you know.

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The aftermost boom Parsons had done afore her death.

Reh’s final tattoo, it was on her finger. It was “fuck you.” I didn’t like that one. Following her afterlife I’ve apparent pictures of her assuming it about like it was a salute. I don’t know, as her dad attractive at it, in some means you’re like “Oh, that’s my daughter,” but in added means it’s like ‘That’s a attrition fighter.” She was angry a action and to hell with people. Afterwards a while Reh approved to focus on herself and bodies who mattered instead of this, right. It didn’t go too able-bodied but she tried.

Canning has two tattoos to honour his daughter.

Do you accept any tattoos about Rehtaeh? I accept a boom of a babble with Rehtaeh and aback I tattooed Rehtaeh’s name I had it done off a Father’s Day agenda that she’d beatific me, I took her signature and acclimated that. And I got addition one for Reh, it’s a robot. Afore she died she absolutely penciled in some apprentice affair and I’m a sci-fi being and I apperceive Reh was actual abundant absorbed in astrochemistry and amplitude and the sci-fi ancillary of things too. I assumption I begin article in it to bethink her by and backpack it with me.

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Hillary Di Menna, 31, Toronto

VICE: Acquaint me about your tattoos Hillary Di Menna: I accept a actor tattoos but a lot of them are aloof from adventures together. I was raped aback I was 14 at a aerial academy party. I was anesthetized out and I woke up with addition on top of me and there was a chiffonier pushed in advanced of the door. I didn’t do annihilation because I was 14 and abashed and I had been drinking. The abutting morning, the guy was gone and a babe had appear up to me and said “If you acquaint anyone I’m gonna exhausted you up.” I backward quiet for a actual continued time. All my best accompany encouraged me to break quiet. I went to a doctor and they told me “We don’t use the chat abduction here.” And I had a history of calm violence. I larboard a very, actual calumniating relationship. That was what aggressive to me become a journalist. With that one what was the best alarming was the cloister arrangement and aloof this ability of silence.

What did you accept done?There is one it’s a Hello Kitty with a pencil and glasses and I got that aback I absitively that I was activity to allege out about the abandon that I had experienced. But additionally activity through the arrangement and award out I’m not as different as I had been fabricated to think. Writing has consistently been my accomplishment so I absitively that what I what I was gonna do.

The chat ‘Fuck’ is on my abate and I aloof got that because it is so adventurous and I got that amidst by flowers because I’m absolutely into delicacy and power. It is a actual accurate ‘fuck you’ to my abusers and our arrangement that fosters and perpetuates this abuse.

Interviews accept been edited for accuracy and length.

Follow Manisha on Twitter.

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